A miracle

I really dont care who read this blog so I'm gonna use this opportunity to speak my mind as it is. Raw. Without censorship. A part of me I'm reluctant to let others see and probably will never share with anyone either.

Has anyone ever asked you, "have you seen a miracle before?" Well I dont know about you but when someone asked me that question in the past, I answered that the fact that I am living here today and being loved by God is a miracle in and of itself. I didn't understood how God could have loved someone as pathetic as me.

Today, I can confidently say that I have seen miracles. Yes, I am living in a miracle right now. That is because I have no way to explain why I haven't gone mad yet with all the work that school has thrown at me. It's ridiculous! To go day in and day out every single damned day with people throwing issues for me to handle. How does one handle such bull****? If it aint one thing it is another.

One thing I hate most is team mates who are unmotivated, lazy and stupid. Actually I'm alright with stupid people, they can be quite cute sometimes and I really adore their innocence but not when they think they are wise and not when it is coupled with laziness. God save those idiots from themselves! I must say though that when such fools change for the better, it really gives you hope and happiness when one of them decides to do something for a change or take initiatives. Then afterwards they'll fall back to the same pattern of being lazy again and it makes you feel like slapping them(to wake up their idea of course).

It seems that God is trying to teach me something by placing me in charge of teams with people like these, pushing my patience. Thank God I've enough practice in the past to know better to throw my temper though I guess I am still a bit reluctant to talk to them much about their lack of effort. Honestly, I think I still have lots to grow in terms of loving people like these who put me through hell without intention to do so.

But enough of such talk! I am determined to break out of this and grow despite the odds and the bitterness that I had harboured against them. I think that in order for one to be forgiven and given a new lease of life in Christ, the first thing one must do is to learn to forgive others as well. The fruits of forgiveness is bittersweet but still worth it as God provides the motivation to do so. Those who forgive are forgiven and will be set free. But it can be very hard when none of your members like that loafer and are encouraging you to do the same. I can't defend the loafer either cos there is nothing to defend in the first place. God help me overcome my weakness of blaming others and speaking behind people's back. I want to be a person who is what people see I am. I want to be an honest person, not afraid of authority but fearful of the Lord. Not one to harbour ill feelings but one to confront such feelings and to seek the righteousness of God in Love.

Help me O Lord, Help me in my studies that I may not be overwhelmed as you have been doing for so long. Amen.